The thing that scares me the most about a first date with someone whom I’ve either met online or have been set up with by a friend is that I just won’t be interested and will have to endure sitting there with someone whom I just have no spark with.

You know what I mean…those invisible fireworks that appear and you can’t explain why…

Hopefully I would have been savvy enough to just agree to a coffee or quick drink rather than a full meal (online dating 101 – never agree to more than a quick catch up just in case there isn’t a mutual interest), but, if not, how do you politely excuse yourself?

Do you explain that it was lovely chatting but you just don’t feel a spark?

Do you say that there just isn’t that chemistry you feel exuding from the big screen when you’re watching a rom com that you know is just the magic of Hollywood but you kinda always dreamt would happen to you?

It sounds really simple when you type it out like that, but I just don’t have the guts to be so direct face to face. I actually prefer it when they don’t “like” me than vice versa!

I have endured many painful dates where all I wanted to do was get up and leave but I have sat there politely hoping my body language was doing the job that my mouth wasn’t.

It may sound awful, but nowhere near as awful as the men who have just sat there breaking all the rules of dating by doing things like: crying about their ex-girlfriend (this actually happened. I’m talking shoulder wracking sobs as I sat there and counselled him!); openly perving at girls walking past (this was also the crying guy); admitting to lying about their age online (had I known you were young enough to date my niece I wouldn’t have said yes to meeting you); and, my pet peeve, detailing how wealthy they are (once again, the crying guy – I really endured a lot that date!).

But those bad dates make you appreciate those special, firework-flecked ones where you don’t want the night to end but you hang for it to in anticipation of the possibility of that first kiss.

And I’m glad to say that I have experienced many of those too. Where you feel like you have known the person sitting next to you your entire life and you laugh like old friends, sharing stories, common interests and feeling that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this guy might be your own rom com happy ending.

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