Category Archives: Uncategorized

Jan1

When you love someone set them free…

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When the person you were falling in love with turns to you in the midst of a teary break up and says, “If only you had let me miss you more, I would have been eating out of the palm of your hand”, alarm bells are destined to start ringing loudly in your ears.

Mutual or not mutual a break up, they are always hard and there are always lessons to be learnt.

Often the lessons repeat themselves alerting you to the fact, once again, that you’re just not bloody learning and it’s about time you changed that.

Sure you can be stubborn and insist that the right partner will love you as you are, warts and all, but perhaps instead, you can look at it as a wake up call and take the advice onboard to shift your actions and change your future.

Like love guru Dr Pat Allen says, if it hasn’t worked for you consistently in the past, perhaps you need to change the way your doing things!

Like the old adage by Richard Bach, “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.”

I’m not saying it will be easy, change never is, nor are habits, but if you look at the bigger picture and trust in your heart of hearts that stepping back, especially in the early throes of a relationship, may just be what your future relationship needs, then perhaps it will make it that tad easier.

So here is some advice from a soon to be reformed romantic who jumps into each relationship with such vigour that her heart breaks into a million pieces when it ends:

– It’s ok to be excited when you find that new someone who makes your heart flip but don’t let it on to much to them. Keep it to yourself and your friends instead…for the first few months at least!

– Don’t Facebook your love life…this has been a lesson I continually struggle to learn as a self professed Facebook addict. Sure it may seem like a fun idea at the time to let your social media buddies know that perhaps you have found “Mr/Mrs Right” but if it ends, it just makes it much more awkward for you and your ex.

– Don’t answer every call, even if in reality you are waiting by the phone to hear his/her voice, give off the vibe that you have your own fun and exciting life that your new man/woman is lucky to have a slice of…in your own time.

– Don’t respond to texts straight away. Leave them hanging so that they wonder about you. See point above.

– When he/she suggests a catch up, say you’ll check your diary and get back to them. Don’t be available at the drop of a hat and never change plans with other people to see your potential Mr/Mrs Right, it’s your friends and family that will be there for you if this crumbles and it doesn’t set a good example.

– If a holiday or special date falls within the first few months of seeing someone (read Christmas, New Year’s, Birthdays or God forbid, Valentines Day) keep your plans or make plans with your friends and family rather than relying on your new flame. Sure they can come along if you both feel comfortable with that closer to the date but don’t future plan.

– Whilst day dreaming of romantic holidays to tropical destinations may be exciting in theory, don’t future plan until you are past the honeymoon period and into the negotiation stage of your relationship. Once all that oxytocin (the cuddle hormone I blame for that feeling of love way too soon in a relationship) has dispersed, you may find that Mr/Mrs Right isn’t actually Mr/Mrs Right for you.

– Most importantly…have fun! Stop stressing, analysing, thinking things over and over in your head and live your life. That’s right…your life…you know the one you had and were perfectly happy with before this new flame came along. Don’t waste a moment wondering what they’re thinking, feeling or doing when they’re not with you. All that achieves is mind overload which is not positive for either one of you.

– If things don’t work out between you, for heaven’s sake don’t play the blame game, especially with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about shoulda, woulda, coulda and, instead, take the experience and use it to better yourself and your future relationships. Cher may have sung about turning back time but, unless you’re Michael J Fox in “Back to the Future” time travel is not something that is a feasible thing to wish for. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but you did what you did at the time because you felt it was right for you to do in that moment.

Following the advice above is not something I have been good at, nor ever achieved fully. It has been gathered through a myriad of sources and packaged into a one stop shop of healthy lovin’ for you.

My promise to myself this year is that I will follow their advice for a change…but I might need your help to keep me accountable ok?

Do you want to join me in the challenge to change your habits to potentially find that special someone?

Share your journey via Facebook or comment on this post and let me know your advice when starting out in a relationship.

Dec9

Online Dating Meets Snap

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There comes a time when a fad peaks your interest and you become a statistic.

You can’t say this hasn’t happened to you…Facebook anyone?

A little while ago I became a statistic of the relatively new Tinder.

What is Tinder you might ask? Tinder is essentially an adult version of Snap. Yes I mean Snap the card game you played as a child, except with Tinder the prize is (hopefully) the man of your dreams.

The concept is very simple and somewhat superficial, but, let’s be honest, if you’re at a bar, you’re not looking at someone’s personality are you?

The app links to your Facebook account and accesses your public photos, first name, age and location. It then adds you to a deck of online cards that potential matches sort through and decide if they ‘heart’ or not. If they do ‘heart’ you and you have ‘hearted’ them in turn, it comes up as a match.

Boom, instant love at first sight!

Once you have been matched, you can chat for free…and then the fun begins!

I was privy to very up front chatting topics on Tinder, with the most commonly asked question being, “So, why are you on here Natalie?”

“Gee *insert male name here* I don’t know, because clearly I feel the need to have riveting chats like this to random men who are within a several kilometre radius of me.”

On the up side, the one week I was on Tinder was actually quite interesting. I had phone conversations with a couple of guys and even went on a date with one who was really lovely but we just didn’t click.

I became addicted to seeing who was nearby though and, at one stage, was unsure how I would remember who I was talking to when I had approximately 20 conversations going at the one time! A good problem to have I decided though!

Ironically, I ended up meeting my beau on RSVP a week after joining Tinder, but here is my verdict on what I will dub “adults-only snap”…just in case you want to give it a go…go on, take a walk on the wild side!

The Tinder Verdict

Tinder is a great way to meet a wide variety of men and chat for free. It is harmless fun that might actually end in finding the love of your life!

There are serious men on there and others who think it’s the straight version of Grindr and that posting pictures of their nether regions and talking about their favourite sexual positions is de rigeur when courting a lady. Block those guys (unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case go crazy but be safe and tell your friends what you’re doing just in case!) and navigate past them to the men who are actually looking for their Mrs Right.

There were surprising quite a few on there and, had I not met my current beau so early in the piece on another dating site, I would have gone on a few more dates.

Most of all, enjoy meeting these people whom you may not normally come across. You might make a new friend on the path to Mr Right…

Sep25

The Ex Files

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Recently, I was given the opportunity to do something that people are rarely able to do, have an open, honest and cathartic conversation with an exes ex.

I have this blog to thank for bringing us together recently and words cannot express how much a simple conversation was able to assist me in the path to truly letting go and getting over a man who has taken up too much of my mind and heart of late.

Whilst my friends and family may think they understand the benefit of being able to share your feelings and experiences with someone who understands better than anyone what you’re going through, I don’t think they completely “get” the delicious ability to connect with someone whom you’ve never met, know very little about (mostly lies it turns out anyway) and whom you are aligned to in a way that few others on the planet are aligned.

It begs the question’ “why?” though. Why did it take a simple conversation with Miss Ex to make me realise that I was completely right in leaving this particular man?

Self doubt can manifest so quickly that it took speaking to someone who had experienced the not so gentle nuances of my ex boyfriend to knock some sense into me. Thank goodness for that!

A fellow strong woman had succumbed to the charms of this well practiced man and I only hope that I can pay it forward as she has.

What questions would you ask an exes ex if given the opportunity? Post your responses here or on our Facebook page!

Side Note…

Many of you have been asking about Mr Vaughn and whether I ever did get that “dream date”. The short answer is no. Mr Vaughn was a very confused man it seems and I told him the best way to describe him was actually “Mr Hot and Cold”!

He would call/message continually, then disappear off the face of the earth until I called him out on his behaviour, made it clear that I wanted to be with a man who knew what he wanted and he said he was thinking about moving back to his homeland of Ireland and didn’t want to lead me on…just in case he actually did move.

Whether that was true or not is beyond me, but, I’m happy to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, knowing full well that, regardless, it wasn’t the sort of relationship I was after.

It was a shame because we really did click in so many ways and seemed to be on the same page more often than not, but what will be will be I suppose! I had fun with him and there are no regrets!

Thank you for your messages, emails and Facebook posts of encouragement surrounding this particular man, it was very flattering!

Sep18

Romanticising the Past

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I am one of those people who is always certain of a decision when I initially make it, but weeks, sometimes months down the track, I look back and wonder if I made the right choice.

When it comes to love, that can often be heart wrenching, especially when you thought you were over the guy.

I was in a relationship a few months back that I was certain was with “the one”. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted.

He was sweet, caring, supportive, honest, ruggedly handsome, fun, funny, dedicated and, most importantly in this era of dating, was on exactly the same page as me.

Life was perfect and there were no games. We fell in love quickly and we both fell hard. We were making plans for the future, planning to move in together by the end of the year, he’d met the family and most of my friends and everyone loved him just as much as I did.

We were going to travel together and spoke often of bringing the best out in each other.

It all happened so quickly…perhaps too quickly, but our theory was, why wait if you know it’s right. That has always been a theory I have, especially as I get older.

I had “a drawer” at his place and even a dedicated space in the closet for my shoes and he showered me with gifts that he thought I would love. And I did…being so spoilt was something I hadn’t experienced in a very long time.

So, what went wrong you ask? Why am I not riding off into the sunset with my Prince Charming?

I’ve thought long and hard about it over the past few months, read many a book and listened to many a podcast and, with the help of the love guru, Dr Pat Allen, I have come to the conclusion that I was too “yang” for him.

The subject of yin and yang in a relationship interests me to no end, so I will go into more detail of how that little symbol that we all bore on fake tattoos in high school with pride can affect your life as an adult, in a future blog.

I liken our relationship to fireworks. They seem so calm and almost serene as they soar into the sky, but then they explode with a shocking suddenness. That was us.

I have always considered myself equal to my partner in my previous long term relationships and have often bordered on leading them not consciously, but just because it felt natural.

This particular man didn’t like that and put me “in my place” often. So I found myself withdrawing into myself.

I felt like I was spoken to as a child and his response when I broached that feeling was always this, “I speak to you like a child because you behave like a child”. That sentence in itself proved my feelings and, when I was chastised for doing what I deemed as everyday things like, speaking on the phone, eating out of a takeaway food container or not exercising (ok, ok perhaps I should have been chastised for that!), I realised that maybe that silver lining was much more tarnished than I initially thought.

So, why am I romanticising a man who made me feel like that?

That’s what I’m trying to figure out but, I guess, my heart does not understand what my brain is telling it and such is the way with love.

It’s a process and what I’m starting to understand is that I shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving a man who didn’t make me feel whole. Whilst there was much beauty in our time together I can’t regret making the decision I did because, if I had continued who knew what a shell of my former self I would have become down the line.

Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier though and nor does it mean that I don’t still love him and miss him every day, but he just wasn’t the MOMD (Man of my Dreams).

Something else I am trying to understand and become comfortable with is that it doesn’t mean that I am too fussy either. I deserve to be with someone who allows me to be me and, whilst I am happy to make tweaks to enhance myself, if I can’t be true to myself in a relationship, then I would prefer to be single.

Have you ever lost yourself in a relationship? Share your stories here or on our Facebook page.

Sep3

The Art of Courting

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Being courted may sound old fashioned, but when you are the subject of a gentleman who courts you, the somewhat negative connotations of being “old fashioned” fly out the window.

Modern-day dating seems less and less open to allowing men to court women which is just so sad. But why? Why aren’t men hankering to show their prowess off when it comes to attracting women like they did in a bygone era?

I had a really interesting conversation with my dad, godfather and brother in law over the weekend who spoke of their disappointment that I live in an era where courting a woman is not something that is expected of men.

They often want everything now and, if women don’t offer it up, they move on knowing that the statistics are in their favour – especially in Sydney.

Many men expect that women will do things that were frowned upon “back in the day”, like take the reigns and organise romantic dates and pay half the bill on a first date (or the whole bill as I was forced to do a few weeks ago. I was faced with a man who simply stated, “I have no cash” as I looked at him dumbfounded and paid the bill to save face at my local restaurant which I had booked when he asked me to plan the date because, “I was a woman and so I’m good at things like that”. I know…why didn’t alarm bells ring then?!)

Now I am the type of woman who always offers to pay half, or takes my wallet out to indicate that I am happy to when I’m on a date with a man. My mum and friends always tell me I should just expect that the man will pay, they tell me that men want to and it cements their masculinity as the “provider”.

That just makes me feel really awkward though, especially if I don’t get “the vibe” from a guy. I mean if I don’t like them and don’t want to see them again, why should they pay for me? I would just owe them then wouldn’t I?

Anyway…back to courting. Let me take you on a walk through the past to Egypt in the 1940s.

I revel in the romance that my grandmother and grandfather shared. If you want to talk adversity, try being a Jewish girl dating an Armenian Orthodox boy in a Muslim country. The odds would be stacked against you on so many different levels but, regardless of all of that, my grandparents were determined to spend their life together.

Years ago when I first visited Egypt, I was proud to hear of the stories people still told of the romance between the jeweller and the dressmaker and I pictured them sneakily holding hands on the bus to get an ice cream together and sending each other notes in their lunch boxes to organise a secret time to meet.

My grandmother, an absolute stunner in her day, tells me that she treated him mean not to keep him keen but because there were so many men that wanted to date her…to court her…to prove that they deserved her affection more than her future husband. Lucky lady!

My grandfather won hands down though because he was persistent and he charmed her like no other man could. That is true love.

That is what I’m waiting for…

I can’t say I’ve been courted before but that is probably because I give in too quickly. I show my excitement and wear my heart on my sleeve too early in the piece, so the man doesn’t have to fight for me, he knows I’m interested straight up.

My motto has always been, why play games and why waste time?

If you read books on dating, they all tell you that this is the biggest no no. They all extol the virtues of treating ’em mean and keeping ’em keen but I just wasn’t built like that. I have difficulty being the bitch and acting disinterested when really I just want to see them and talk to them if I’m interested in pursuing something further. It just all seems so futile really.

The most impressive thing a man has done to prove his interest in ‘courting’ me was fly to Sydney from his home town of Adelaide to take me on our first date! What happened then? I agreed to exclusively date him the second day into his trip! I know…I’m disappointed just reading that back! Needless to say, the relationship didn’t last…long distance wasn’t his forte it seems.

The verb ‘to court’ implies that the process is a little longer than coming up with the goods on one date alone though.

Webster’s Dictionary defines courting as follows:

1. To endeavor to gain the favor of by attention or flattery; to try to ingratiate one’s self with.

2. To endeavor to gain the affections of; to seek in marriage; to woo.

3. To attempt to gain; to solicit; to seek.

4. To invite by attractions; to allure; to attract.

It may all sound very Jane Austen but I want to be courted…like my grandmother was. For when a man courts you and puts in the effort to win your affection, you have more certainty that they want to invest time in a relationship…not just a roll in the hay.

So that is my new promise to myself, to allow myself to be courted. Will patience become my virtue though?

Share your stories of courting here or on our Facebook page.

Aug28

The Facebook Conundrum

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Facebook has certainly added another element to dating and has applied a pressure that just didn’t exist even five years ago.

Remember the time when you started dating someone new and your friends found out because you brought him to a party as your plus one?

Or when a guy broke up with you it was via text instead of deleting you as a friend off Facebook…ok both awful examples but you see where I’m coming from!

Oh and I’ll note here that both of the above has happened to me…classy guys I tell you!

I’m going to shout it loud and proud right now lest my friends reading this dare to call me a hypocrit…my name is Natalie and I am addicted to Facebook!

There I said it and it felt good! They say that the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting to it, but this is an addiction I don’t necessarily want to overcome!

The first thing I do when I wake up? Check Facebook.

The last thing I do before I go to sleep? Depending on whether someone’s lying next to me…check Facebook.

About 100 times during the day? Check Facebook. OK…that’s an exaggeration…it’s more like 99 times.

I know I’m addicted and, at times I care and recognise that it may be an issue, but, most of the time, I enjoy the interactions with friends and family around the world more.

Sharing photos and experiences with people far and wide is something I love. I also use it as a source of advice.

Now I’m going to break here to issue a disclaimer in case my mum is reading this. She gives me lectures every time I speak to her about sharing too much on Facebook. It’s the same lecture time and time again and it’s one that some of my friends have also given me.

I have different levels of restrictions on my page. I share a lot publicly – quotes, promotional pieces about my businesses, blogs and work and even some photos. But those more personal pieces I share only go out to those I count as my good friends. So, now that I have put that to rest, back to Facebook in relationships.

A ex of mine asked me early on in the piece to change my relationship status on Facebook from single to ‘In a Relationship’. The catch? He didn’t have his relationship status listed and therefore he didn’t want to place it on his page to be ‘In a Relationship’ with me. He said that only when he was engaged would he do that.

Loved up Nat didn’t question this reasoning (the knowledge hindsight offers is a wonderful thing) and, instead, did as he asked (I did that a lot in that relationship actually – once again the knowledge of hindsight is a wonderful thing) but deep down I was upset. What’s good for the goose has to be good for the gander surely?

How did I make myself feel better? Oh I tagged him everywhere and placed multitudes of photos on his wall. Everyone would know that we were in a relationship regardless of a silly status change! Yes, I turned into that Facebooker that I hate! Boasting about my newfound romance at any given chance and posting cuddly selfies in romantic situations to declare to the world, I am not single anymore.

I know, I know…it was a lapse in judgement and I swear I will resist doing that in future but it happened to me and I know it has most likely happened to you.

So, how do you manage Facebook in your relationship? Do you do as several friends of mine have done and not even say they are in a relationship…ever? I’m talking even when they get married!

That is the path I am going down moving forward I have decided. The section isn’t even visible on my page anymore lest I have to deal with the outpouring of comments and likes when it re-appears.

Fun fact: the most comments and likes I have ever received on a post was when I entered into what ended up being a brief dalliance earlier this year and changed my relationship status. The joy that was expressed at my new union bordered on hilarious!

I made this post visible to all my friends and I had people I hadn’t seen in more years than I can remember expressing their pleasure in my status…why?!

That also begs the question, why are they my friends on Facebook I guess…OK I get it…but who knows when I’ll need to organise another primary school reunion and having them there will save me so much time!

Does Facebook rule your life and relationships more than may be deemed healthy? Share your stories here or on our Facebook page – trust me, there’s nothing wrong with logging onto that particular page, no matter how much you want to ease your addiction!

Aug28

The Romantic Comedy Challenge – Mr Vaughn’s Entry

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Here is Mr Vaughn’s entry into the Romantic Comedy Challenge. For those of you who have asked me why I call him that…well he looks a little like Vince Vaughn and, as I promised in an earlier blog, I only use code names!

Mr Vaughn also stretches the cheesiness factor. If you want him to win, ‘like’ or ‘comment’ on this post or on the post on our Facebook page.

I feel the need to note that Mr Vaughn has written this as more of a movie script than I did and I give him a gold star for naming the celebrities he’d cast – especially Channing Tatum. As another aside he gets an extra gold star for coming up with this idea and being an awesome sport about the blog.

To read more about the challenge and all of its rules and the all important prize, click here!

Mr Vaughn’s Romantic Comedy Storyline

Jerry was always quite, shy a little bit of an introvert but always nice. A straight A student but no nerd. He had his group of friends, he was not the most popular boy at his school in Ohio but people knew he existed all the same.

You see Jerry moved here (San Francisco) a few years ago from Ohio with his mom after she remarried a wealthy business man.

Jerry’s dad left when he was 5 has had no contact since which has left him in a sort of limbo state and has become introverted.

But his new family has welcomed him with open arms, one older brother who is away in California at college and an older sister who is married with two kids.

Their mother died about 8 years ago and have welcomed his mother in as a friend and as a welcome new wife for their father.

The lived in a large house in the leafy suburbs of San Fran. They moved in at the start of the summer much to Jerry’s disappointment leaving all his friends before the summer started. He wanted to have one last summer with them. But he wanted his mum to be happy so did not kick up too much of a fuss.

Leslie his new older sister welcomed him and introduced him into their family he spent the first few weeks there during the day Leslie’s husband Paul (both characters from “This is 40”, the married couple) was a bit of a nerd and they got on well being into photography and video games etc.

His new older brother he had not met yet, Todd (Channing Tatum for the girls!) was still away at college and was not due home for a few weeks. Eventually he did.

To Jerry he was the coolest guy in the world and drove an old mustang and had that all American bad boy image that you knew all the girls loved and no guy messed with.. But according to Leslie he was a sweetheart.

Todd was nice to Jerry, took him in close and helped him a bit showed him around, every where he went everyone knew him, he was of course the most popular kid at school when he was there an edgy jock if you will but a nice one.

He had a creative side too, was into movies and of course sang in a little in a r&b group. He even sang at the prom!

Todd had no serious girlfriend while in school, a few here and there, but there was talk of a new girl in his life now he was in college, she was coming back in a few days to meet all the family.

In the meantime, he and Todd hung out and he was introduced to a few new friends and made a new friend in the next door neighbour’s kid. Mike. (He has to be ginger).

The eagerly awaited day came when the family was going to be introduced to the new girl in Channing’s life. Enter Summer, (Megan Fox for the boys)

So beautiful, so fashionable and edgy and really intimidating, Jerry had only seen women like this on TV before…

He did not immediately take to her as she was so intimidating, but as she worked the room and worked her charm on all the family she finally came and sat next to Jerry after she kept acknowledging him throughout the evening and, with his heart in his mouth he stumbled and stuttered a hello she smiled and sat next to him and they talked for the next few hours.

She was so intelligent and so nice with such a passion for dance and the arts and also a passion for photography like Jerry and so down to earth they got along like a house on fire all summer and, as it turned out Summer lives in San Fran and never met Todd before college.

Summer was always around and always practicing her dancing in the studio out the back of the house which had not being really used since Todd’s mum passed. She was a dance teacher, Todd’s mum.

Jerry used to catch glimpses of Summer’s dancing, she was so beautiful, how could Jerry ever get a girl like this he wondered.

As the holidays rolled on Jerry and Summer became close and he showed her his photography and gave her tips and an old camera he had, she in turn thought him how to dance. As you need to be able to dance in the high school jerry was going to…

So Jerry and Mike had spent their times on the weekend going to some popular clubs in the city Jerry strutting his stuff in the early days trying to get better and working on his confidence.

One night while dancing, he lost his footing and slipped back and knocked over this guy’s drink, which he was not happy about and pushed Jerry and made light of his dancing calling him a cracker, white boys can’t dance….

Jerry squared up to him and he got a punch in the face knocking him out cold.

He came to, with Mike and a beautiful outline of a woman helping him. She was so nice and smelled amazing with such kind words and gentle touch, who was she as Jerry could not see as his glasses were smashed.

The summer was coming to a close and everything was about to change for Jerry as he was about to enter high school with 5000 more students than he was used to and, by all accounts, a new nemesis as the guy that punched him out was the new popular kid at school .

This was going to be a far cry from Ohio where he was little or no one anyway how was he going to fit in here?

Before the summer ended, there was a big tradition of a party by the lake with all the local kids and having a massive blow out at Todd’s dad’s boat house, but this year it was to be in Todd’s dad’s new club, a roof top popular dance club with a pool.

So the night came with all the preparation going on at the club with the guys and Channing’s friends which were all such intimidating characters if you did not know them but they were all so nice such a great group of friends and a welcoming group too, this was truly too good to be true.

As the night kicked off it was awesome, a real club party just like you see on TV and have heard about happened at school but you were never there Jerry thought.

The jocks, the skinny popular hot girls, the quiet goth-like kids, the rockers, the bitchy hot girls.

The night was going so well everything Jerry was living the all American dream. All he wanted now was a girl like Summer…

He was fantasising about her as he was talking to her looking at her lips as she was talking to him imagining what it would be like to kiss such a beautiful woman.

Just then everything went silent and dark around him he could not hear Summer at all he had just caught a glimpse of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen everything moved in slow motion, fireworks went off and flew around his stomach did not even notice Summer walking away which was a first…

With a newfound confidence, he walked after her trying to catch up to her flowing through the crowd.

She went out of site he caught up to her again and just as he was about to reach out and say something she ran into the asshole that had punched him two weeks earlier.

He had caught her and they were having a heated discussion. She was pulling away from him but he was not letting go. Just then Summer stepped in and caught his arm and twisted it up and around at the back of his head…

He was visibly intimidated and immediately backed off. Summer and this goddess hugged like long lost friends. Both girls turned around and headed towards Jerry with smiles on their faces getting more and more excited as they got closer to him, Jerry was in a daze. Were they looking at him or someone behind him, he checked, no!

They both reached Jerry and this goddess hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, this was the girl that had helped him that night and she was also Summers cousin Carla…

Summer left them to get to know each other. It was like they were long lost friends that have not seen each other in years Jerry’s head was spinning.

Summer had told her everything about him, his photography, his dancing lessons she had spent the summer in Europe taking pictures and bumming around.

They laughed for hours, could this be she was more beautiful than Summer, they had more in common she was so nice…

Just then as Jerry was showing off some of his dance moves to her he swung around with a drink in his hand and bumped into that asshole again, and spilled a drink over his shirt. A deafening silence fell around jerry what was going to happen this time?

Carla stepped in between the two of them as the shoving continued, Summer showed up in the middle of all the pushing and shoving which Jerry was not standing back from.

An outside brawl was suggested, but Carla piped up and said no fighting here and just as she said it, Summer announced you should settle this on the dance floor…

Oh shit, Jerry thought, I would nearly prefer go outside!

Carla whispered in his ear, I’ve heard you are an awesome dancer show him up he thinks he is all that!!

Jerry’s nemesis called out to Carla what are you doing with this preppy fool you belong to me… I don’t belong to anyone especially you.

Summer caught Jerry by the hand and said you can do this, just think we are in the studio doing our thing and always look Carla in the eye she likes you, I can tell.

So the crowd parted, with Todd on the decks Jerry got the thumbs up and his favourite dance track started “Flo Rida ft Kesha, Right Round” came over the decks… His head spun as his nemesis took off, oh no he thought he is good.

Just then he caught Carla’s eye and remembered what Summer had said and he was back in the studios in his head and this time Carla was the girl he was trying to impress. He lost sight of his competition as it was his turn to dance and he took off with Carla locking in his gaze he moved like he never moved before remembering all those new dance moves Summer tried to teach him but everything clicked this time and there was no stopping him even putting his own twist on his moves.

The crowd went insane everyone cheering as this once preppy boy in chinos had transformed into the awesome cool kid he never thought he could be, with his new brother on the decks playing to his strengths there was no stopping him and the flow kept coming and the new awesome dance moves kept flowing out of him from nowhere.

His nemesis tried to get back in on it but even he had to admit defeat and moved away into the crowd, no one noticed as everyone was cheering Jerry on in awe of how he was moving..

The music went quiet as it was drowned out by the crowd cheering , Todd slowed it down as everyone joined Jerry on the floor dancing with him and congratulating him … All this time he never too his eyes off Carla.

From across the room she had constantly keep his gaze and her smile got bigger and eventually turned into a coyness and shyness when the music of Jerry’s performance stopped.

It was almost like she was magnetically drawn to him, she felt nervous pushing slowly through the crowd trying to get to Jerry through all the well wishers, she made it to him.

Jerry, full of confidence could not hear anyone just the music and all he could see was the girl of his dreams standing in front of him smiling he pushed two of the earlier bitchy hot girls out of his way walked up to Carla brushed her hair back off her face ran his hand around to the back of her neck cupped her face with his other hand and kissed her in front of everyone without saying a word.

She kissed him back and jumped up wrapping her arms around him and her legs around his waist..
Cut to Jerry walking into his new high school hand in hand with the most beautiful girl he has ever seen…

Aug28

The Romantic Comedy Challenge – Nat’s Entry

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So the challenge is on and the stakes are high! This is how it’s going to work:

My date from last week (let’s call him Mr Vaughn) challenged me to write a romantic comedy storyline to rival his based around a chino wearing guy we saw at Ivy on our first date.

* My story is below – if you like it, comment or ‘like’ this blog post or hop onto our Facebook page and ‘like’ the post on there.

* Mr Vaughn’s story will be posted straight afterwards and, if you like his do the same.

At 5pm Friday we will tally up who has received the most likes or comments on both Facebook and this blog site and the “loser” will have to fulfill the “winner’s” dream date!

We have set parameters so that when Mr Vaughn loses he doesn’t have to fork out for a romantic week in Hawaii but I know I’m going to get creative and I think Mr Vaughn might as well…if he wins of course!

So here goes…in all of its romantic, cheesy goodness. Beware…the cheesiness factor is off the Richter scale!

Nat’s Romantic Comedy Storyline

The year is 2005 and Cody is preparing for his HSC. He’s the guy everyone knows and loves…in the computer studies group at least.

The guy whom the other geeky types look to in their social endeavours because, out of all of them, he is the only one who could possibly break down the walls of the cliques at school and actually get a date to the Year 12 formal.

He seems to wear his intelligence with pride, whereas they all shy away from it and spend their time in the computer room designing new programming with the hope to be the next Mark Zuckerberg.
Facebook is fairly new to the cyber world and the computer studies group are confident that a networking site like that will make dating fair game for them since they can hide behind the facade of shiny profiles rather than needing to have the confidence to actually speak to the popular girls at school.

What they don’t know about Cody is that he has been crushing on the same girl for years though. His next door neighbour Isabella.

Isabella’s flowing dark hair cascades down her back and she has curves that no 17 year old should be allowed to have.

The constant flow of friends at her house is testament not only to her popularity but also to her bubbly, vivacious nature that is so infectious, everyone wants to be her friend.

That’s what Cody was though…her friend.

He had been relegated into the friend zone when they were younger…back when their two families would take holidays in the Gold Coast together.

His computer studies friends were so jealous that he got to share a hotel room with such a beauty, little did they know the torment it put him through.

Seeing her in her bikini frolicking by the pool with the other guys staying at the hotel, he saw how differently she looked at him compared to them.

How would he gather up the guts to ask her to the formal? If she said no, he would be gutted…and would never be able to face her again.

The challenge was on…he had to do it for the guys in his computer studies class. They lived vicariously through him, although he didn’t understand why.

With half the grade just having turned 18, word had spread around school that a few of the students were going to head to the newest rooftop bar in the city on Thursday night during their study break. Their exams were around the corner and they needed to let off some steam.

Cody was nervous, this was his chance to ask Isabella in the most romantic setting he could imagine. Fairy lights twinkled in the trees and the moon glistened on the pool that already a few of the jock types had pushed each other into fully clothed.

The stage was set and he was thankful that his Dad had taken him shopping recently to buy a new pair of chinos and boat shoes which he coupled with a blue checked shirt that his mum said brought out the blue in his eyes.

He was also thankful that his dad was the lawyer for the owner of this new bar and was right on board with creating a night that he and Isabella would remember for a lifetime…for all the right reasons.

He spotted her from across the pool, standing with the popular girls who were all giggling as the boys tried to garner their attention by showcasing their hot new dance moves.

The DJ made way for a live band on the stage in the centre of the pool and the Black Eyed Peas-inspired group got the bar pumping really quickly.

This was his chance…his lessons after school all led up to this moment…

The rif started and his dad’s client met him by the stage with a microphone. As he patted him on his back and wished him luck, Cody’s heart was beating at triple time.

He caught the eyes of his computer studies group who looked more nervous than he did and then he saw her.

Isabella.

Resplendent in her fuschia strapless number showing off her natural tan and, as ever, skimming her curves deliciously.

She looked at him with confusion as he stepped onto the stage, untucked his shirt, threw his glasses into the pool and broke out into the first verse of rap in the number one hit, “Don’t Phunk With My Heart”.

The Fergie wannabe lead singer whooped in excitement and gyrated against him like no-one had ever done before and the crowd cheered.

It was happening, it was really happening!

Isabella locked eyes with him swaying her hips to the music smiling that infectious grin that lit up her face and then it happened.

The popular boy Brendan had lined up his friends alongside the stage side of the pool and all at once they water bombed the band dousing them completely.

As they surfaced, laughing at their joke, security met them by the side of the pool, manhandling them out dripping as they yelled their objections.

Cody stood there on stage…dishevelled. Chinos stuck to him like a second skin, new boat shoes ruined, hair plastered to his face but that wasn’t going to stop him.

The music had stopped and there was an almost eery silence before the microphone squealed as if in terror of what may happen and Cody’s voice rang out over the crowd.

“Isabella, will you be my date for the year 12 formal?”

She grinned and yelled back, “I thought you’d never ask!”

Like this post either on this blog site or on Facebook if you want me (Nat) to win her dream date!

Aug27

The Romantic Comedy Challenge

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I’m always up for a creative challenge and I thought I would take this particular one public.

On a recent date, I enjoyed a night filled with chatting, laughing, people watching and, yes, if you read my blog last night, a couple of fireworks thrown in for good measure.

You see Thursday nights at Ivy welcomes the uni crowd and we had a ringside seat to all the action!

There were the jocks, the blonde bombshells in skimpy dresses, the homey g wannabes, the hipsters and there was the one token “geek-type” who let himself into his dad’s wardrobe, slapped on some chinos and boat shoes and tried out the preppie look. Bless…

The after-work crowd made way for the frat crowd and we were essentially the oldest people there…or at least it felt like it!

Did it dampen our spirits? Not at all, it made the night even more interesting as we people watched and created imaginary lives for those surrounding us…in between having drinks spilled on us of course.

What was interesting was watching the mating call of these young, nubile beings who were out for a good time trying to impress the opposite sex. It was akin to watching a David Attenborough documentary.

“The lioness roars at the lion who approaches her with some abandon, yet with a look in his eyes that says he wants to eat her for breakfast.” OK slightly gross analogy but you get the gist!

With all the makings of a Hollywood teen rom com, my date has challenged me to write a script based on the chino wearing male as the lead.The funny thing is that he has already accepted the challenge himself and presented it to me last night.

It was impressive to say the least and contained all of the makings of a hit teen chick flick…but while his might go straight to DVD I’m aiming for a box office smash with mine…and so the challenge begins.

I wonder if Vince Vaughn is available? As the cool teacher who helps transform chino wearing boy to a man whom all the girls love…

Aug27

First Date Etiquette…When the Spark Just Isn’t There

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The thing that scares me the most about a first date with someone whom I’ve either met online or have been set up with by a friend is that I just won’t be interested and will have to endure sitting there with someone whom I just have no spark with.

You know what I mean…those invisible fireworks that appear and you can’t explain why…

Hopefully I would have been savvy enough to just agree to a coffee or quick drink rather than a full meal (online dating 101 – never agree to more than a quick catch up just in case there isn’t a mutual interest), but, if not, how do you politely excuse yourself?

Do you explain that it was lovely chatting but you just don’t feel a spark?

Do you say that there just isn’t that chemistry you feel exuding from the big screen when you’re watching a rom com that you know is just the magic of Hollywood but you kinda always dreamt would happen to you?

It sounds really simple when you type it out like that, but I just don’t have the guts to be so direct face to face. I actually prefer it when they don’t “like” me than vice versa!

I have endured many painful dates where all I wanted to do was get up and leave but I have sat there politely hoping my body language was doing the job that my mouth wasn’t.

It may sound awful, but nowhere near as awful as the men who have just sat there breaking all the rules of dating by doing things like: crying about their ex-girlfriend (this actually happened. I’m talking shoulder wracking sobs as I sat there and counselled him!); openly perving at girls walking past (this was also the crying guy); admitting to lying about their age online (had I known you were young enough to date my niece I wouldn’t have said yes to meeting you); and, my pet peeve, detailing how wealthy they are (once again, the crying guy – I really endured a lot that date!).

But those bad dates make you appreciate those special, firework-flecked ones where you don’t want the night to end but you hang for it to in anticipation of the possibility of that first kiss.

And I’m glad to say that I have experienced many of those too. Where you feel like you have known the person sitting next to you your entire life and you laugh like old friends, sharing stories, common interests and feeling that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, this guy might be your own rom com happy ending.

Share your best and worst dating experiences either here or on our Facebook page.