How many times have you been dating a guy who is so über keen he freaks himself out?

For me, it’s been countless times…no, really, I couldn’t even offer a number up if I wanted to!

He texts all the time, calls, Skypes, Face Times, Facebooks, Tweets, suggests dates, showers you with flowers, dinners, champagne and talks about a future together…then…nothing. Nada. Niente. Rien…ok you get it in many different languages now.

Don’t get me wrong, I reciprocate for sure. For a while there I was wholly trusting in their words of endearment and actions until one day I thought, Natalie, step back and don’t believe everything they say.

Like my very wise Nona says, words can go in one ear and out the other, it isn’t until they show you they are committed that they really are.

Or, as Tara Kemp sang in the prom episode of Beverly Hills 90210, “Actions Speak Louder than Words”. Yes…I went there!

So, I became wary, put a wall up and didn’t say yes to every meeting. I stopped responding straight away and concentrated on other things to stop me getting so overcome with excitement that I perhaps scared them off – God forbid.

What was the result? Nada, niente, rien after a few weeks or…in the most recent case, a few days!

When they finally got in contact (sometimes months after the fact) they had the same thing to say. It went something like this:

“I’m so sorry I treated you the way I did, I just freaked myself out.”

Or…

“I just freaked out at how quickly things were going and, whilst I thought it was what I wanted, it actually wasn’t.”

Often that was followed by:

“But I am now! I miss our chats and realise that I really do want a relationship.”

That is also what I like to refer to as code for, “I played the field for the past few months, it didn’t work out with anyone and since you seemed interested when we were dating and I completely cut you off for no reason, I thought you would still be interested. It’d save me getting to know someone else after all.”

So, now is the time that I wear my heart on my sleeve and confess that more often than not I accepted them back, took things slower and, guess what? Yep…sometimes, they did the same thing again.

If I use the now infamous words of Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein in their cult book and movie, perhaps “He’s Just Not That Into Me.”

Now whilst that may be true…why bother coming back, putting in the effort convincing me that you want a relationship with me then “freak yourself out” again?

Wouldn’t it be better to take things slowly, see how things progress and then decide whether you want to be in a committed monogamous relationship?

The worst thing for me is the not knowing. Don’t send me a text in the morning saying you are keen to see me (especially after days of texting your feelings, cancelling plans with others to spend time with me and telling me how we seem to be such a perfect match) then don’t turn up and not even bother to call to explain why!

That is not cool. What it is in fact is childish, disrespectful and downright rude.

Guys and girls who have done this – and I know you’re out there – grow some kahunas and just tell the person, “You know what, I just don’t think this is working.” Heck, even text that if you don’t want to call!

Has this happened to you? Or have you gotten “freaked out” and disappeared off the face of the earth? Share your stories here or on our Facebook page. Let’s work through this together!